Are you putting up a BerLynne wall?

The past two weeks have intricately woven my life with that of two men - Jonathan and John* - and their cohorts - Kelly and Kelly* (this is not a joke, just a sick twist of fate that makes telling these stories to my closest friends devastatingly annoying and confusing).

Jonathan
This story is one that wholly and completely sums up my "romantic" life. Simply put, the life of "the other woman." It seems that I continuously end up in situations with men where I am the (and I quote) "awesome, down-to-earth, tell-it-like-it-is, don't give a fuck, hassle-free, unattainable woman of their dreams." And the thought that runs through my head every time, accompanied by a sickened smirk? Toobadyouareinafuckingrelationshipyoufuckingasshole. And his oh-so-smarmy retort? Oh, but it's okay, really, I swear, because if I wasn't with so-and-so, you'd totally be my girlfriend. Bullshit. So, after Jonathan decided to woo me with his endless wit and charm, he dropped this bombshell on me. And by "endless wit and charm," I mean "about $100 worth of martinis." Yeah, so I was semi-tanked. Which meant we made out. And now, to be quite frank, I can't stop thinking of making out with him again. Which can mean one of two things: he got to me, or, I'm just that horny. I think it's the latter.

John
This story essentially sums up the forced nature of my "dating" experiences. One of the reasons I don't usually like online dating services, blind dates, or the I-know-the-perfect-person-for-you-you-have-to-meet-them scenarios is that itisjusttoodamncontrived. I HATE the added pressure of desperately trying to make it work because you both realize that you are getting older and it's time to begin thinking of settling down, so hey, let's meet, say some stupid shit, and just be in this forced relationship because it's alright to settle. Well, what if I don't want to settle? What if you're not my dream man? Does that make me a terrible person for not wanting to just say "Fuck it, you're hot, I feel great, let's get married"? I may be slightly exaggerating here, but it just seems sometimes when I'm not that into a guy, he takes it so fucking personally. Which is the epitome of what John is doing to me. In his gutless demonstration of his "interest" in me, he sends cryptic text messages, ignores me for days, and relies on Kelly as his source for communicating with me. So, inevitably, this makes me like him less and less. I don't have the time, patience, or personality to deal with this ambiguous behavior. I just don't care that much about it. So, after letting Kelly know that I was unavailable tonight, I get a text message *gasp* directly from John after DAYS of silence, "Are you putting up a BerLynne wall?" Whatthefuck? I only wish I had a witty response for him...

*Names have been changed to protect my innocence.

UPDATE (8/5/08): So, I messaged John through myspace to let him know that right now may not be the best time for me to commit to anything serious, but that we (meaning Kelly, Chris, John, and I) should still hang out. His response to me? He removed himself from my friends list on myspace. Wow.